a lifelong sorrow :: a lifelong memory

This was very much of a chick flick, but suprisingly I was on the edge of having tears rolling down my face when Drew [Orlando Bloom] was looking down at his dead father. The strong sense of family bonding. Reminds me of my parents half way across the world. One would never realise how much a family really matters if they're never been living without them. I can feel the guilt gushing up my throat when I asked if I could go back this Christmas. Possibility is really high now, but I wonder if they really want me back.

And I thought of my grandmother....
She passed away last February. Every one went back to my birthplace, Nanjing, to attend her funeral, but except me....coz i'm still in sydney n everything just so sudden, I even don't know how to react. After watching the film, I really really wanna go back to Nanjing, to see her again, to meet my relatives....My situation is simply the same as Drew, left the hometown for ages and went to places to places.......when I go back, all of them will welcome me and make all kind of food i like, play together, sing together.....but I don't know when, maybe years n years later. Now I feel so regret. Why don't me just go back at that time?? I should, seriously.

Those days when I was packing things, I found a neckace given from my grandma. I miss her so much!!!! I remember the smell of chicken wings and pan fried fillet she made. I remember the soft yelling of hers when me and my sister were fighting. I remember the tickling sensation when her nails scratches my neck as she unbuttoned the top collar for me when I was young. I remember seeing her lying on the table in a peaceful state.

I remember the smile on her gentle face.

People always say: when we are growing up, we seem to see more, learn more, experience more; however we might have forgotten the most important and most beautiful things in our lives. Very true indeed.